Hilarious 'Stop Having Loud Sex' Note of the Day!

Unfortunately we have not had the pleasure of meeting each other yet.

However, we can hear everything you do. So basically it's like we already know you. And what we've concluded is:
- Someone just bought a pogo stick!!!
- 2012 Double Dutch Champs! Congrats!
- Just got castedin STOMP!
- You own your very own Wack-a-mole! Lucky!
- Super Clumsy, dropping things all of the time.
- Super Hot, having sex all the time.
- You're housing a mini pony. Jealous!
- Training to win the gold in gymnastics. Go USA!

Seriously though...not trying to be a pest or super annoying...but, Oh My Gosh, what are you doing up there? And if you do by chance have a mini pony, I would like to meet it.

Your Neighbors

P.S. If secretly you are Spiderman and practicing your Spidey skills...please disregard this note and keep up the good work!

Condom Use is not Freedom of Speech

Recently the Courts ruled that Condom use by the Porn industry is not a Freedom of Speech matter. The decision came from a panel of 3 judges of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals.  For the First Amendment argument to apply, the court ruled, there would have to be a great likelihood that a film's audience would understand that intended message.
"Here, we agree with the district court that, whatever unique message plaintiffs might intend to convey by depicting condomless sex, it is unlikely that viewers of adult films will understand that message," said Judge Susan P. Graber, writing for the panel's majority.  
The porn industry complained in the lawsuit opposing the law that Measure B violated the First Amendment because it created "prior restraint" on their ability to "create expression".  
All of us here at Condomania want to hear your voice on this delicate matter!  

The Pleasures of Textured Condoms!

Textured Condoms.  Do They really work?

When you research online there is quite a few they say no.  And a bunch that say yes.  Now I have also read that they hurt.  I am a firm believer in lubrication.  I know from experience that any condom will hurt if there is not enough lubricant either created or used.  The ribs and studs on most condoms are on the shaft of the condom where it counts.  

Of all the studded and ribbed condoms that are out there I think the ONE Tantric is the most unique.  They have ribs that create a design around the shaft of the condom!  And ONE also has ONE 576 that is heavily studded.

Durex has Performax Intense, Intense, and Pleasuremax with studs galore.  Just like the Beyond Seven Studded.  

Trojan has LOTS of Ribs in the Ecstasy line and the Her Pleasure line of condoms.  They also now have Magnum Ribbed!  

LifeStyles has FunBumps, Everlast, SKYN Intense, Pleasure Ribbed to add to the Studded and Ribbed bandwagon.

ID Lubricants and Kimono also have a Studded condom!

Last but not least we have Rough Riders.  They are also heavily studded condoms.

Now I know that a lot of people will not try the studded or ribbed condoms due to word of mouth.  But you really should try them out before you pass judgement.  We have the perfect Sampler to try them out with out committing to a whole 12 pack of one type of condom!  The Textured Sampler pack will include these condoms.  You could also try out the Pleasure Condom Sampler.  This sampler has some textured condoms as well as the condoms with pleasure lubricants on them.

My favorite condom was the SKYN Intense.  Mainly because of a latex allergy ;).  However, if not for that allergy I would definitely use any one of our Textured Condoms.  The key as always is make sure there is enough lubricant on the condom so that you can enjoy this playful experience!


Have a pleasure filled night!

Miz SassyPants


Lubes, Lubes, and More Lubes Day 4!

Sometimes, we all need some new ideas to mix things up a bit, so here are 6 ways to use Lube, that you may not have thought about! 

1. Slip a few drops inside his condom before he slips it on. The added sensation will feel a-ma-zing for him!

2. Put on your hottest push-up bra and slather some warming lube between your boobies. Then, gently guide your man's penis in and out of your cleavage.

3. Lay a towel (or something beneath you for easy clean up) on your bed and lube up both of your bodies. You guys can revel in the sexy wetness as you slide up and down each other's bodies while you get busy.

4. Slather some cooling lube on your fingers (we really like Fleshlube Lubricants Ice) and use them to massage his nipples and have him do the same to you. Then, blow on the area for an added tingling sensation.

5. Put some flavored lube on his erection and lick it off like you would an ice cream cone. Then have him put some on your clitoris and have him lick it off.

6. Right before he's ready to enter you, slather a bit of lube on the tip of his penis. Then, have him push just the tip in and out of you. See how long you can do this before you are both begging for more!


Hilarious 'Stop Having Loud Sex' Note of the Day!

Please be considerate of your neighbors the next time you feel like having rough sex with your extremely LOUD girlfriend. As you may already know, both of our bedrooms are right on top of one another and my kids often play in my room and watch television. Last night you were both SO LOUD that I had to take my kids out until you were done. My oldest asked me what was all the noise. You should now know that you have been labeled a woman beater since instead of telling her what you were really doing, I simply said you were beating her. It was a great opportunity to explain to her what domestic violence is.

Your neighbor

Hilarious 'Stop Having Loud Sex' Note of the Day!

Every Breath you take,
Every Move you make,
Every Bond you break,
Every Step you take,

Is Really Audible Through the Floor!


Toys Toys Toys!!

So I was out searching information on Vibrators this afternoon.  I actually learned a lot of info!  

  • Did you know that the first Rabbit was invented in Japan?  It is illegal to create penis shaped toys!  They just decided to create a cuter design ;)
  • The first steam powered vibrator weighed about 40lbs and required 2 people to operate it.....And the second person is not the one on the receiving end. 
  • Women that use toys are far more likely to keep their Gyno appts then ladies that do not.
  • 83.8% of toys that are bought are used to Clitoral stimulation!
  • Did you know that it is STILL illegal in Alabama to sell Sex Toys?
  • Also, Alaska buys the most Sex Toys per Capita!
  • Ladies in a relationship are more likely to buy Sex Toys.  Come on Single Ladies!!  Let that Kitten fly!!  Great stress relief if you ask me!  
  • Most men do not feel as threatened by toys as we women think they are!  I am betting that given a chance they will jump all over adding toys to the bedroom playground!  

Here at we have a few favorite toys that we like to use!  We have a Rabbit that works wonders and stimulates in ALL the right places!  We also have the Suction Cup dildo that is perfect for the shower ;) and the Petite Treat the worlds smallest bullet!  This is perfect for Clitoral stimulation!  And can be used while you are doing the dirty!

We also have a few favorite toys for the guys!  We like the Juicy Mini not only for the price but for the almost unlimited stretch. When we first got them in we were very skeptical about it.  Now it is one of our favorite toys for the guys!  We also love the Dream Sleeve With the soft skin like material that warms quickly and the textured insides makes this very popular with the guys!

With the use of toys we are totally for the use of Lubricants.  Everything can be very uncomfortable if there is not enough lubrication.  We love warming, tingling and flavored lubes here at Condomania.  And we will never put up a flavored lube that we have not tasted first.  And yes we have tasted the Bacon Lube and it surprisingly tastes just like Bacon!  We love the Lube Samplers, and you will too!  You can email us and let us know if there is a specific lube that you want in your sampler.

As always have a wonderful night!

Signing off for now, 



Lubes, Lubes, and More Lubes Day 3!

Here are todays 5 ways to use lube: 

1. Getting busy in the shower is can be super hot, but it can wash away your natural lube. To keep things going, have a bottle of lube (Silicone Based Lubes work best for in the shower as they stay slippery in the water) handy in the shower. You can disguise it in a travel-sized shampoo bottle and leave it out all the time. That way it is all ready for you when you are ready!

2. Craving 69? Put a few drops of flavored lube on each other beforehand. It'll make it even hotter for you both.

3. Spread a warming lube like Sliquid Organics Sensations Lubricant on his boys. Then, give him oral while lightly massaging his balls. You will drive him wild!

4. Put a good amount of lube on your breasts and lay down behind your man, with his back to you. Slide your body up and down his back. The sensations will be super-hot for both of you, especially if you use a warming or cooling lubricant. As you rub against each other, the lube will either get warmer or cooler.

5. Buy a lube sampler pack (the Condomania Lubricant Sampler has both regular lube and flavored lube) and try out a new flavor every night of the week.

Hilarious 'Stop Having Loud Sex' Note of the Day!

Dear Upper Floor Neighbor:

I sincerely hope you are not hurting or getting hurt by your girlfriend, it has certainly sounded like it the past week. From as late as 3am, her blood curdling screams and running dow the stairs have woken the building up every time.

The police will be called if this continues to happen. It literally sounds like she is going crazy or getting raped and it is extrememly distrubing to the whole complex.

This ridiculous behavior needs to cease, or you need a new girlfriend..

-Thanks a million.

Hilarious 'Stop Having Loud Sex' Note of the Day!

Today's loud sex note (these are actual notes that were left of people's doors) of the day: 

Dear Loud Girl(s),
I tried giving you the benefit of the doubt. I thought there was a NO WAY this girl can go ALL DAY & ALL NIGHT having sex. Your determination to challenge P. Diddy for the longest sexcapade in recent history is respectable, but not really. I honestly tried telling myself that your robotic, overly used phrase of 'harder, harder!' meant that you were simply playing a video game that did not quite challenge you enough. And that your repetitive use of 'I'm cumming' was directed at an upset friend in whom you were late meeting up with...alot. However, between my crooked picture frames, my constantly shaking walls, and the occasionally overheard 'f**k the sh*t out of me', I've come to the conclusion that you either live on the set of Brazzers, or you are a proverbial colllege hooker from craigslist, no offense. With all due respect, please tone down the constant screaming, moaning, crying, etc. Or perhaps even the 15 plus daily hours of sex.

- Your friends at 1705

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