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On a regular basis (at least once daily) we speak to customers friends or even random people on the street who want to know how to last longer in bed or have sex longer. While women have the benefit of being able to recover quickly and have multiple orgasms, this is just not the case for men who need some downtime - which could be as little as an hour or as long as days in some cases.
- One of the biggest things we hear on a regular basis is people not wanting to communicate with their partner, this might seem ironic that we are being called. Often the head trash and concerns that we each have are just that and seldom survive talking to your partner and engaging in open and honest dialogue.
- The most important thing is finding a time when your partner would be most receptive to a conversation. That might be in bed, at the end of the day, on a weekend in the morning… you know your partner better than we do, it’s important to trust your judgement. We recommend starting the conversation with phrases like:
- I’ve been wondering...
- Have you ever thought of...
- Something I read about and wanted your opinion on...
- We've also learned not to use blaming phrases or words:
- Use “I” statements instead of “You” statements
- Avoid words like “Should”, “Would”, “Could”
- Be specific and try to use examples
- The greatest sexual organ in anyone's body is their mind. If we can control our mind, we can control our pleasure and when we ejaculate. In fact many actors in the adult industry spend lots of time practicing this control on a regular basis.
- Often our customers get overly excited in anticipation of sex and as a result by the time any physical contact starts, they are behind the eight ball already. If we look at physical contact or sex as a forgone conclusion, something we know is going to happen, it is much easier to not get as excited and spend that time with our partner enjoying.
- If we can control the mind by practicing bringing our attention and focus to where we want it, we will be able to control our orgasm.
- Often foreplay is slow which can relax and calm each of the partners involved. From this calm space it is much easier to last longer and spend more time enjoying each other.
- Using thicker condoms or condoms that are not designed for greater sensitivity can be an amazing way to provide a thicker barrier which can increase the amount of time spent penetrating your partner. This can be especially useful if you believe condoms make you last longer (see the mental focus section above)
- Thile the time between each person being able to climax is different, often self play or masturbation a few hours before having sex can allow people to last longer. This was hilighted in a scene in the movie There's Something About Mary.
Build & Cool Down
- By building pleasure and then stopping completely, or using your hand or your partners hand to Gently place pressure near the tip of your penis this will allow you to slow down and stop. We do know this can be difficult if you don't pause early enough.
- This building and pausing and buildin and pausing has lead to some of the most amazing orgasms for men but can take time to perfect and is more of an art that is different for each person and not as easy to give exact rules for.
Desensitizing Sprays and Lubes
- Masturbators to build stamina
Focus on your Partner
- The best sales people focus on your needs, not their own… similarly the best lovers focus on you, not themselves. Some of my favorite sexual experiences are ones where I gave my partner pleasure and didn't ejaculate at all. While I wouldn't like this every time, spending time focusing on your partner and not solely on yourself can help you build for a deeper connection and is great training for lasting longer.
- In today's frenetic world it's very simple to assume that everything needs to be done fast fast fast. This is one area we're slowing down and spending more time can make a huge difference on the quality of your relationship and the time spent with your partner.
- Often men focus only on intercourse and not everything else surrounding the sexual experience. Many women have an easier time reaching orgasm if a longer period of time has been spent focused together and building togetherness.