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Sex is probably one of the most pleasurable parts of life but at times, the more you desire your partner, the harder it becomes to last all night. The majority of sex therapists believe that one of the things that most worry men is a wish to have erections that last longer, yet men often don’t know where to start when it comes to passion-filled moments.
Distraction (or thinking unsexy thoughts) is often the first line of attack, yet this can make things worse because it forces you out of ‘the moment’ and you can lose all the vital synergy that you have been creating with your partner during your first moments of pleasure. The tension can be even higher if you are enjoying your first sexual experience with the woman of your dreams or you have just started a relationship and you feel pressured to perform. You may wish to try out the following tips and techniques to ensure that pressure gives way to pleasure in your next moment of passion:
1. Try an Extended Pleasure Condom: Extended pleasure condoms enable you to last longer because they contain a climax control lubricant that helps with premature ejaculation. Trojan and Durex both make this type of product, which has received rave reviews thus far from men and women alike.
2. Focus on the Here and Now: When you attempt to avoid your feelings of arousal, you inadvertently create more tension in your mind and this ups your performance anxiety. Take the focus on your mind and onto your body, enjoying what you are feeling in the moment. The more you rebel against desire, the more difficult it will be to hold back.
3. Try Biofeedback/Neurofeedback: Biofeedback/Neurofeedback are technologies which work on the principle that the physiological processed governing the body and nervous system are constantly changing, depending on how we think, feel and act, as well as on the circumstances taking place around us. When we are stressed or anxious, in bed, at work, or in daily life, we think or behave in a way that alters our physiological processes, including our ability to sustain an erection. Biofeedback and neurofeedback, carried out under the guiding hand of a therapist, teaches us how to control the physiological processes which cause anxiety, stress-related disease and a compromised sexual performance. Typically, the therapist will read your brain waves, heart rate and breathing, to see how you respond to stress, how you breathe, etc. They can then address problem areas through simple and fun exercises that can be no less than addictive.
4. Try the Squeeze Technique: The squeeze technique involves applying gentle pressure to the urethra (the tube that runs along the underside of the penis), to push blood out of the penis momentarily to decrease sexual tension. Practice the squeeze technique while masturbating. First, identify the point at which you can no longer back. Next time, try the squeeze right before you reach this point. Squeeze for around 10 seconds and continue. Try the technique various times before you let yourself go.
5. Change the Rhythm of Your Strokes: Alternate between fast and slow strokes and when you feel like you’re going to lose control, be still until you feel you are regaining control. Use humor to reduce tension and change positions when you feel like one is turning you on too much. Your partner is likely to enjoy the fact that you are creative in bed and they may come up with a few suggestions you have yet to discover from the Kama sutra. In addition to changing pace and position, try varying the depth of your thrusts, since if you go in too deep, it is likely to be much harder to control yourself.
6. Do Pelvic Floor Exercises: A study presented recently at the European Congress of Urology in Stockholm has shown that pelvic floor exercises can significantly help men with premature ejaculation. To find your pelvic floor muscles, stop urinating mid-stream; the muscles you have used are your target. Practice tightening them for three seconds, then relaxing them for three seconds. Try them a few times in a row without going overboard. The Mayo Clinic recommends trying three sets of 10 repetitions of pelvic floor exercises a day. It may take time to learn how to tighten and release the right muscles, but with a bit of practice you should attain perfection in no time at all.