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How to have sex in an Elevator
 
Apr 13, 2015

How to have sex in an Elevator

 

Having sex in an Elevator might not be the easiest challenge to pull off.  Elevators are searched out, waited for and ultimately serve to funnel foot traffic in your direction.  However, attempting to do the deed in an elevator will mostly likely become a lasting memory.  Good or bad.  Whether or not you’re up for an adventure read on for the insider tips. 

 

1. Rush Hour: Everyone uses elevators.  People actually go out of their way to avoid the stairs.  Make sure you pick a time when those elevators are unlikely to be used.  I’d say late in the evening until really early in the morning should be a safe bet.  Just watch out for the workaholics and cleaning crews, you don’t want to be the latest office gossip.

 

2.  Location: Not all elevators are created equal.  Since there’s a high chance of being discovered try to avoid the office elevator.  Try out your wild ride at your private apartment elevator or if you don’t have a building elevator maybe pay a friend a late night visit and go crazy on the way home.  Also watch out for those cameras.  Otherwise your late night elevator exploits might end up viral in more than one way. 

 

3. Dress for the job: Batman wears his costume for more than just the coolness factor.  Wear clothing that makes it easy to get the job done. Men: Loose pants like sweat pants.  Casual T shirt would do the trick. Women: I’d go with a skirt for easy access.  The rest is up to you. I’d recommend having sex in an elevator standing up.  The floor isn’t going to be clean and if by chance you hear the door opening you can pull out and pretend you’re deciding on which button to press. 

 

4. Going Down:  Going down is right! To lower the odds of someone catching you by surprise start at a higher floor.  Most people are coming or going from the lobby so the elevator will start to move and allow you to settle down.  I’d recommend positioning yourself behind the buttons for some cover just in case someone on the 12th floor decides to go for a late night stroll. Having sex on an elevator is one adventure you’ll definitely remember for a while. Elevator music just won’t be the same! Oh yeah.  Skip the mess and wear a condom.  Anyone going down?