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Guys don’t let the title of this article make you blush. How big am I, is a question we’ve all asked ourselves. Penis size isn’t an exclusive worry of adolescents or young adults, men of all ages and levels of sexual activity internally inquire about the size of their manhood more often than what is publically realized.
So just how big are you? That’s difficult to say without sending you into the urologists’ office. Are you measuring flaccid or erect? Girth or length? Are you factoring in curvature or are you just doing a straight-line measurement?
Accurately measuring the size of your penis isn’t as easy as whipping it out alongside a ruler. There are a variety of elements in the equation to consider in order to ensure exactness. To help you get started, we’ve created this at-home measurement guide to help you get the most accurate assessment possible of your prized partner. Let’s get started.
Determine what you are measuring
There are two distinctly different things to measure surrounding penis size and those are surprise, surprise, length and girth. Both require similar tools but opposite approaches so definitively decide whether you want to measure one, the other, or both before getting started. For the sake of this article, we’re going to measure both...
If you’ve seen the movie Boogie Nights, you’re familiar with a scene of cinematic lore where actor Mark Wahlberg drops trousers to reveal what scientific experts believe is either a third leg or kickstand. While the media clamoured about the, um, impressiveness of the scene (does the camera add ten pounds or ten inches?), formerly confident men the world over slinked into the privacy of their bedrooms and quietly reached for the ruler to see how they stacked up against the penile goliath known as Marky Mark Junior.
Unfortunately (or fortunately depending upon your results), there’s a good chance we, yes, this author included, weren’t doing a very good job of precisely measuring our members. To correctly determine the dimensions of your penis, you’re going to need a couple of things to get started:
1) Measuring tape or a ruler (we prefer tape)
2) Pen/Pencil & Paper
3) Lube and porn (totally up to you)
With your tools and tool gathered, safely position yourself in a room with a locked door, you do not want someone to strolling in while you’re doing this and screaming “it is a science experiment” will not help alleviate the horrifying embarrassment. Erection assumed, start by taking the measuring tape and placing it at the bottom base of the penile shaft where it meets the scrotum. Run the tape along the base of the shaft all the way to the very tip of the penis, taking care to ensure the tape stays centred, doing so will make sure ever millimetre of length is fully accounted for in spite of curvature. Record this measurement down on the paper and the repeat the process at least two more times. And, fellas don’t lie about the number…you’re only cheating yourself.
Place your trusty measuring tape (or ruler), at the top base of your penile shaft where it syncs up with the pubic bone. Press the end of the tape/ruler past any pubic hair (as a side note, you might want to shave before measuring) and protruding fat deposits (if you’ve got a beer belly, we’re talking to you) so it comes into contact with the bone. Much like we did for the underside, run the tape or ruler all the way out to the very tip of your member, taking care to keep your measuring device as centred as possible along the way. Record the measurement on your paper and repeat the process two more times.
Analyze your data! Average the three bottom base and top base to get your “true” bottom base and top base measurements. Do the numbers between top and bottom look different?—they should and that’s OK! When referencing penile length for medical and contraceptive purposes, use the top base measurement exclusively.
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But for your personal rap sheet, there’s nothing wrong with referencing the bottom base measurement. It tends to be slightly longer and if that bonus gives you a little more confidence in the bedroom, the ends justify the means as far as we’re concerned. For a holistic number, average the top base and bottom base numbers. Just remember,for contraceptive purposes, the top base number and only the top base number is the one you want to use.
At this point, we’ve all probably heard someone say it’s not the length of your penis but the girth or thickness that matters most in terms of satisfying a sexual partner. Well that’s all well and good, but just how thick are you? Same tools like above...
Wrap your measuring tape around the thickest part of your penile shaft. If you’re using the ruler/string system, wrap your string around now, and do not wrap your measuring tape around the head of your penis.
As you’re wrapping your tape/string around, take care to ensure you don’t overlap when completing the measurement. Also, keep the wrap as straight as possible. If you wrap at an angle you’ll get an inaccurate and larger than reality measurement.
If you used a measuring tape, the number you see is the number you get. Write it down next to your length data. If you used string, take the string and line the starting/end points up against a ruler to determine just how thick you really are. Repeat this measurement process at least two additional times to get a sample size you can average.
Making Sure the Science is Sound
If you’ve taken the time to measure, there’s a better than good chance some of you are very happy and some of you are very disappointed with the results…Do not lose faith!
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Believe it or not, the size of your erection can vary greatly depending upon age, arousal levels, stress levels, sleep deprivation, and a number of other variables.To make sure you’re getting the most accurate readings possible, you’ll want to measure length and girth several times over a few weeks to get the truest results.
Guys, it’s important to remember that, no matter what Hollywood says, penile size has nothing to do with your worth as a man or ability to perform in the bedroom. A penis that’s above, below, or right at average doesn’t limit your ability to satisfy a partner. There are plenty of ways to provide sexual satisfaction no matter the length or girth of your most prized possession.