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The Secret Sex Life of Your Spatula
Jan 22, 2018
With all these products, you can spend anywhere from a few bucks to a few hundred on a single sex toy. But why shell out any of your hard earned dollars when, with a little creativity and a few helpful hints, you can DIY yourself into the very same orgasm!? If you’re sitting at home, take a look around. Your house is actually a palace of sexual pleasure! Many of the household items you use daily can be transformed into sex toys. Your spatula, paper towel rolls, hairbrush, clothes pins and hair ties are all just waiting to share their secret sexual identities with you. Dildos Let your preferences and desires be the guide here while you bear in mind a few safety considerations. For the most part, these suggestions are for vaginal insertion only. While having something inserted anally is pleasurable to many, this is one area that you may want to spend some money on. Anal toys absolutely need to have a flared base so they don’t get away from you. Every year, there are thousands of hospital visits for foreign bodies stuck in rectums. Don’t be a statistic! That said, focusing on vaginal use, you’ll want to choose something that is smooth, durable, feels good for your body and is easy to hold. In terms of safety, that eliminates anything with sharp edges or anything that can break easily. Whatever your chosen item, be sure to use a condom to cover up the part that’s being inserted. Using a condom will create a barrier between you and any bacteria that may be hanging out on the item of your choice. We also recommend washing said item before you use it as well. Better safe and clean than left with an infection! Lost for ideas? Here are some to get you started -  Fruits and Veggies: Inserting bananas and cucumbers may seem like a joke, but it’s a well-known cliché because of their frequent use. Think about it – they’re cheap, the perfect shape, and no one would ever guess that you bought that cucumber for after dinner instead of for your dinner salad!  Candles: Another nicely phallic-shaped object and one that comes in a variety of widths for your preferences.  Hairbrush: We are (hopefully) obviously suggesting that you use the handle of your brush. While you’re at it, check out your other hair styling products. Have a curling iron that’s looking like a nice size and shape? Cover it up with a condom and go to town. Vibrators We live in a world of modern electronic conveniences. Let today’s technology work for you in more ways than one! As you get creative with your vibrating household items, a few words of caution: just as most vibrators are made to be used externally, stick to external stimulation with these items as well. Even though your electric toothbrush may look like the perfect vibrating dildo, you’ll want to keep electrical currents on the outside of your body. Condoms are a good idea for using with vibrators as well. Cover up the end that you’ll be using on your body to keep bacteria away from your sensitive areas. Finally, you know electricity and water don’t mix…right?! Good! That means you’ll never use any of these items in the bath or shower. Safety first…then orgasms!  Electric Toothbrush: We’ve all thought about it and certainly more than one of us has tried it. Yes, an electric toothbrush can be used as a makeshift vibrator. You can use the back of the brush tip for more intense and directed vibes or remove the top altogether and use the base for a more subtle vibe that stimulates a larger area. There are even companies making toothbrush attachments just for genital use. You can find these online.  Electric Razor: Same basic idea here. Remove the actual razor part, cover it with a condom and you’re all set!  Back massager: You’ve heard of the famed “Magic Wand”? It’s the original back massager turned sex toy, but is now solely marketed as a vibrator since that’s all anyone actually ever used it for. Famed for providing intense orgasms in mere minutes, see if you can find its match in any similar personal massagers you have laying around your house. Kinky Play Kinky play, or kink means different things to different people. Kink can range from simply including new sensations in your sexual play all the way to bondage and sadomasochism (enjoying inflicting or receiving pain). If you’re wanting to add a little spice to your sexual life but don’t know where to start, starting right at home can be a comfortable first step. Experiment with some of these common household items that can play double-duty to add variety to your sex life.  Spatula or wooden spoon: In the world of sex toys, you can buy a silicone paddle for spankings, but really anything with a firm, flat surface will do. A spatula or wooden spoon is an easy, quick-fix that you likely have on hand. For healthy, consensual pain-play, make sure you’re communicating with your partner about where on their body they want you to be doling out these spankings. Everyone has different preferences and sensitivities.  Nipple clamps: The nipples are one of our many erogenous zones, meaning they contain a high concentration of nerve endings in men and women alike. For many, having their nipples played with is enjoyable during sex. If you’re one who likes to go a littler further by having your nipples pinched or bitten, you may want to experiment with nipples clamps. Before running off to your local sex toy store, first consider what you may already have at home…think clothes pins, chip clips, and hair clips. All of these objects can be used in a pinch. (Get it? “In a pinch?!”)  Scarves, belts, and ties: Look no further than your bedroom closet for some light restraint materials. You can use accessories like scarves, belts and neckties to carefully tie up a partners arms and/or legs. Just be careful that you’re not restraining too tightly. Scarves and neckties in particular are usually made out of silky materials that can slip and tighten the more they are pulled. Opt for those made out of cotton if you have them. Check in with your partner to make sure the restraints don’t accidentally get pulled too tight. If you end up loving restraint play, there are some great, inexpensive restraint options online.  Feathers: For those looking to incorporate more sensations into their sexy time, feathers are just one of many options that you may be able to find around your house. Feather dusters, of course, have feathers. But you may also have a feather boa lying around from that one costume party last Halloween? Even a feather from your down comforter would do to run along your partners body.  Soft gloves: If you live in a cold climate where winter gloves are a must, think through your collection of hand warmers. Any cashmere, fur or otherwise fuzzy gloves on hand? These can be used to tickle and stroke a partner to add to your cadre of erotic sensations. And MORE… The true joy of sexuality is that there is so much experimentation and playfulness to be had. Here are some other ideas worth considering to help you stay curious, creative, and crafty when it comes to your sex life.  Masturbation Sleeves: Maybe you’ve heard of the Fleshlight? It’s the most famous brand of masturbation sleeve. Sleeves are tubes lined with a soft silicone, the center of which has a hole where you insert your penis, simulating a mouth, vagina, or anus. The Fleshlight website deems their product the “#1 male sex toy in the world.” True or not, it’s definitely a popular concept. So popular, there are hundreds of Youtube videos and blog posts with instructions on how to make your own at home. We’ll let you find the method you like best but the general concept is lining a cylinder of some type (like a toilet paper roll) with a material of your choice. Squirt lube or lotion into the center and you you’re off to the races. Another method uses a latex glove, rolled up towel, and a rubber band. Have fun trying them all!  Using Water: If your showerhead is a removable one, turning the stream on yourself can be quite pleasurable. If yours is the type that has different water modes, you can experiment with different pulsing sensations and water pressures. Showerhead not removable? You can still get down if you have a tub by letting the water from the faucet run between your legs. Just be careful that you don’t have super sensitive water temperature if someone in another room flushes a toilet. You don’t want to scald your genitals!  Pillows: There is a market for “sex wedges” which are pillow-like props to help with different angles during sex. Whatever happened to good-old pillows?! You can stack them, fold them, and even try your couch cushions for added firmness.  Cock ring: – Cock rings are rings or straps that are used around the penis to constrict blood flow making the penis bigger and harder. They also delay orgasm allowing the wearer to last longer and the orgasm to be more intense when it does happen. You can try to create a cock ring at home with a hair tie or sting. A leather bracelet that can be tightened and loosened could also work. Whatever material you try, make sure that you can remove it easily when you want to. It shouldn’t be so tight that it’s difficult to take off when the penis is hard. Cock rings should never cause pain, so if that’s ever the case, take it off and try something that is less constricting.